Monday, November 21, 2011

Learning the limits and embracing the possibilites

It has been 17 days since I last posted. Jesse left after 9 weeks of our working together on manifesting new lives for ourselves, and him helping me get the first installment of my new life situated down here in my new home. 4 days after he left I woke up one morning with the irresistible urge to pack, something, anything. A frenzy of boxes and tape and purging and revisiting ensued which culminated in me, my material objects and my pets moving out of the house Nov 9, a short 6 days after my intention was set that this should happen by the end of this month. I have re-arrived on the shores of this life, uncurling from the veil that intense transition and deep grief. It has been an interesting and intense journey and for most of it I despaired that the me that I always was would stay lost in that limbo that I was caught in. But I am happy to say that I am finally back, my life interrupted no more by the sad and necessary intersection that loving and losing a lover/partner sent by Creator brings with it. All the boxes are unpacked, thanks given to all those friends who gave of their time and their sweat to help me up out of the sad resting place that I was engulfed in. Now I am figuring out how and who I am to be in this new chapter of my earth walk. It is exciting, intimidating and awesome. I am happier than I have been in a very long time. The solitude that this new place has provided me with has soothed my ragged spirit and given me the safety and foundation to launch into this next phase of being a servant to humanity in the best way that I can. It feels big, huge. It is a blissful liberation. Thanks be to God and all the angels, my sweet sweetie being one of the most present lately. Doug, I love you and I miss you, thank you for showing up in the birds, the wind, the rain and even in my internet connection! (more on this later). Today I am tackling some of the finishing touches of this sanctuary of mine with the help of a couple of guys that helped me move in last week, looking forward to the transformation of this courtyard where I sit every morning and evening reflecting on this mysterious and wonderful life that I have been blessed with.