It has been a long while since I sat down to write, nay to disgorge all that I have been carrying around with me. The losses, the triumphs and the day to day mundaneness of a special life. It has been 3 years, 5 months and 10 days since the man I committed my life to flew the coop. Seems like yesterday, seems like a lifetime. I have fallen in some form or another twice since then. I have had "crushes" innumerable times since then. I have learned to forgive my humanity and all that it entails....mostly. I have given and given and given until my guts bleed, literally.
As I embark on the latest ship to the latest chapter of this novel life, I am up to my ankles in debt, have been blessed over and over again with the kindness of friends and I miss the hell out of my family, I have been brought to my knees and lain face down in the dirt more times that I care to recount. People that I had no idea even existed 4 years ago have borne witness to my tears, my blood, my ecstasy, my laughter and to round it all out my abject confusion. I believe that I have been seen at my worst and my absolute best more in the past couple of years than the first 50 or so.
So where does that leave our heroine?? Quite possibly on the precipice of the greatest love and adventure of all. More than likely certain that the best is yet to come and with an underlying excited terror akin to that of a toddler taking her first sustained walks and not quite ready to burst forth into an all out delighted run. Forgive my ramblings, I have always been a bit of an extremist, so I am told. Let's just break it all down to these few words. I am loving and honoring who and what I have become. I am still becoming. Life holds way more joy than sorrow than it has for a long, long time and I am in the throes of new love. Let me further state that it all feels a bit deeper, truer and fuller than previously felt. Thanks for listening folks, I will get back to you when I am running.
